Effective Conflict Resolution Techniques

Conflict Resolution


Conflict Resolution techniques

9 Effective Conflict Resolution Techniques When we have a difference of opinion with somebody, we often try to correct them, to convince them that our point of view is ‘correct’and theirs is ‘not.’ After all, we would never hold a point of view we thought is wrong. Yet, we all know from experience how difficultit is to get others to admit to being wrong. It is usually not only futile; it often leads to real conflict.

1, Don’t Get Defensive In any


Whether it’s professional or personal - we all feel the urge to rush to our defense. You may find yourself constantly trying tocorrect the other’s position with “but”, “nevertheless”, “however” in defense of your own position before they are even finished explaining their opinion. 

Try turning the situation around. How do you feel when another person is constantly contradicting you and seems unwilling to consider your opinion? Take a moment and really try to see things their way. They have reasons for their point of view, just as you do for yours. 

This doesn’t mean that you have to accepttheir position, but if you let them know you are taking them seriously, you can avoid things getting personal. Try using phrases such as, “I understand what you mean” and “That’s a valid point.” Signal that you respect their opinion, even if you don’t agree.

2, Avoid The Blame Game.

When you feel under attack and go on the offensive,even calling the other person’s character or intelligence into question, you cannotreally win. All you’ve done is made an enemy. Avoid blaming others. Instead, establish an atmosphere of respect. One in which everyone can safely express them selves. Let others state and explain their points of view with out launching an attack.

3, Listen Actively Perhaps.

The greatest way to resolve a conflictis by really listening. You want to express yourself, so let others express themselves. Instead of listening just to discover flawsand formulating counter arguments while they are speaking, listen to what they have to say. You may discover that you didn’t really understand the point the other person was actually making. You may discover common ground. In any case, they will respect you for listening.

4, Begin Statements.

With "I” When you begin statements with “you” it sounds like you are pointing a finger at the other person. This actually betrays a weakness on your part. Your opinion should stand on its own merits, not rely on another person’s flaws. If you think that the other person is not allowing you to express yourself, just let them know how that affects YOU. “I feel like I’m not being understood”is far less confrontational than “You aren’t listening”. 

The first statement relates to yourself; the second one is directed at the other person and destined to put them on the defensive. This can make a big difference in a conversation. These kinds of “I” statements give the other person a chance to pause and rethink their own behavior. It can lead to an atmosphere of mutual respect.

5, Tame Your Emotions.

Speaking in anger or frustration is a bad strategy for resolving conflicts! When you’re emotional, your rational thinkings huts down and you can’t formulate an acceptable outcome. Don’t unload your emotions on others, wait until you calm down, so that you can discuss things in a reasonable manner. Throw a tantrum, if you want, but do it beforeyou speak with them. When you are calm and rational, you can make your own points better and you are open to different perspectives.

6, Show That You Can


Depending on the situation, some approachesto conflict management may be more effective than others. Sometimes, simply being accommodating and avoiding conflict is the best move – especially if you don’t care much - one way or the other. A competitive strategy might be much more useful when you have to come to some sort of decision and need to assert yourself. In most conflicts, however, the only way tocome to some sort of resolution is through compromise.

You have to come to some acceptable agreement- in order to move forward. Show others that you don’t always have toinsist on your own way - even if you still think you are right. Others will appreciate you for putting a solution before your own pride.

7, Don't Badmouth.

Some one To Others Unless you really need to, you should not spread around details of a conflict you are having with someone - you will only make them feel betrayed. And the only way they can then defend themselvesis by badmouthing you. 

This does not make you look good! There are other ways to vent anger or frustration than talking someone down. If you just have to do that, do it in front of a mirror, write it down or talk to someone who doesn’t know who you are talking about. Trust and respect are essential for resolving conflicts.

8, Don't Take It Personally.

We tend to regard our opinions or actionsas a direct reflection of who we are, so we get defensive. However, when someone disagrees with your opinion or criticizes your performance, don’t take it as an attack on you personally. Someone might think your opinion is flawed or your performance can stand improvement, but that does not mean they think you area terrible person. 

They may even have a point! Realize that, if you can distinguish between what they are criticizing and yourself as a person, it will become much easier to avoidpersonal conflict or resolve differences in a way that is acceptable to everyone concerned.

9, Pay Close Attention To

Nonverbal Communication.

Dealing with conflicts directly is not everyone’sforte. Some people prefer to be accommodating or even avoid conflict whenever possible. They are uneasy with conflict and would rather say or do almost anything just to spare themselves an unpleasant situation. This can lead to building emotional pressure. Since they are not being honest with you, may not be aware of this until it comes to a head. So, don’t just take people at their word.

Be aware of non-verbal communication that be tray emotions - such as body language, facial expressions, eye contact and voice tonality. “I’m OK” should not be very convincing if they are sighing, averting their eyes or fid geting. If you learn to pay attention to these cues,you will sense when their words do not match their feelings. Then you can take steps to encourage themto be more honest with you. 

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